I'll tell you a tale of an oracle boy,
Who played with the future as if with a toy.
But only one thing did he truly enjoy—
And that was just a mavpel-jelly sandwich.

His smoking pipe and crystal ball,
His girlfriend (who was quite a doll)
Were set aside, yes one and all
In favor of a mavpel-jelly sandwich.

His patrons felt like silly fools,
For though they paid him gold and jewels,
He only used his seer's tools
To scry for the next mavpel-jelly sandwich.

He threw away the brownie mix,
He scoffed at simple Pixy Stix,
He told his friends to go and fix
An extra-gummy mavpel-jelly sandwich.

And then one day he took a bite,
And though the flavor was just right,
He found his mouth was stuck quite tight
From that last bite of mavpel-jelly sandwich.

Sir Milov pulled, and Bumper pried,
Scarlatti pushed, Miranda cried,
"My boy's committed suicide
From eating his last mavpel-jelly sandwich!"

Melsheena came, along with Grench,
Who plied him with her dental wrench,
But still those jaws were in a clench.
Oh darn that gummy mavpel-jelly sandwich!

Jacob vowed to take its life,
Szark proposed to be its wife,
Stunt just stabbed it with a knife,
But couldn't crack that mavpel-jelly sandwich.

With healing spells and searing lights,
With fearsome necromantic blights—
For forty days and forty nights—
They fought that stubborn mavpel-jelly sandwich.

Though all the Callan subjects came
And tugged his teeth, it was a shame—
The seer's plight remained the same.
They all lost to the mavpel-jelly sandwich.

But Siegfried Gunther Aern Damaske
Said HE was equal to the task
And 'ere they even had to ask,
He punched that cheeky mavpel-jelly sandwich.

A puff of sugar, crumbs of bread
And several teeth left that boy's head.
His jaws unstuck! (although they bled)
Then in a shaky voice, he said...

"Best. Mavpel-jelly sandwich. EVER."

"Peanut Butter Sandwich" © Shel Silverstein
Dominic Deegan © Michael "Mookie" Terracciano
Parody © Aja 2006

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