You know you play too much Final Fantasy when...

You're about to get into a fight, and you try to check your opponent's HP.

Whenever you're confused, you check the guidebook to see what to do next.

When faced with a difficult decision, you begin searching frantically for a Save Point.

You're always peering into seemingly empty corners in search of "hidden Draw Points."

Your dating policy is: "if you aren't polygonal, you aren't my type."

Facial hair on men is a turnoff.

Large facial scars, on the other hand, make people look "intriguing".

You tape a squirt gun onto your pocket knife, and go after your sister's iguana.

You can pronounce words like "@*#!!", "****" and "..."

When you laugh, you really do say "mwa ha haa," and it actually frightens people.

Your collection of homemade Final Fantasy costumes aren't just for Halloween.

You have constructed a perfect replica of Cloud's Buster Sword.

You have to work out constantly, because that Buster Sword is just as heavy as it looks.

Your parrot, whose cage is near your TV, knows the lyrics to "Eyes On Me" by heart.

Your cockatiels can talk, but all you've taught them to say is "wark".

You feed your pet cockatiels "Zeio" nuts in hopes of getting a gold one.

You practice sinister facial expressions in front of the mirror.

When your boss mispronounces your name, you threaten to rip his lungs out.

You refuse to go to the circus, because you're deathly afraid of clowns.

You laugh like Kefka. (Uweeheeheeheehee!)

You are arrested at the zoo for trying to sit on the ostriches.

You never sleep in your bed; only in a small, square tent on the floor.

You're depressed, because you know that the only real men with silver hair are old and wrinkly.

The hairspray company has started blocking your calls, because they are tired of you asking them to put Sephiroth in their commercials.

When someone bothers you, you say something cryptically sinister, raise your arms toward the sky, and laugh maniacally. It usually makes them go away.

Your mother makes you throw away the mangled Barbie doll you keep in a jar on your dresser.

You skin your knees while trying to "become one with the Planet."

When mortally wounded, you cry out to your friends: "Phoenix Down! I need a Phoenix Down!"

When they don't have any, you say: "Okay, don't panic. I'll be fine. Just don't let anyone Send me."