Homeville

[Aja]

*emerges from the supply closet, followed by a traumatized-looking operative*

You're going to be okay now, Mr. Simmons. How did you get in there, anyway?

*Simmons glances around nervously, eyes darting every which way*

Simmons: Is... *huff* ...is he... *huff* ...gone? *huff*

I don't know who you mean, sir, but you seem to be hyperventilating. Here -- breathe into this party whistle.

Simmons: *fweee*... *fweee*... *fweee*...

There you go. Now why don't you have a seat, and I'll bring you a nice--

*Simmons's gaze falls on his own cake simulacrum*

*the 2021 Shadowcake is currently in the process of engulfing cake!Simmons from the feet up*

*GRNF, GRNF, GRNF*

Simmons: O_O

*the Shadowcake rotates two of its candles toward the real Simmons, making some approximation of eye contact*

*GRNF... purrr?*

*Simmons bolts across the room, out the door, and over the horizon*

Simmons: *FWEEEeeeeee...*

That was weird. I guess he must not like cake.

...Oh, hey, Shadow! It's great to see you here in person again.

I'd offer you a pint of tea, but our main keg seems to have gone missing. Here's a very tasty slice of keg-shaped cake, though!

*glances over and sees Tulsi slowly sinking into the frosting-like surface of their table*

Well, it looks like we'll have plenty of cake for everyone this year.

Thank you for coming, guys!

I'm sure the 2021 Shadowcake can take care of any leftovers.

*having finished its assimilation of cake!Simmons -- and now looking noticeably larger than before -- the Shadowcake shambles around hungrily in search of more food*

Such a sweet boy~

*cautiously picks up the knife, and gives both the white cake box and the apparent gift box an experimental poke*
_________________
"The one concession a sane man will never yield the universe is that of considering it seriously."
~ James Branch Cabell