You buy your first pair of dentures at age fifteen.
You know exactly how many times a hummingbird beats its wings in a second, because you've counted.
You don't eat cotton candy or Pixie Stix any more, because "they're too bland."
You suffer withdrawal symptoms while waiting for the next frosted toaster tart to pop up.
The Hershey's company has started sending you a free tube of skin cleanser for every one hundred Proof of Purchase labels you send in.
You send someone a handwritten letter, and they mistake it for a seismograph.
You watch all your videos in fast-forward mode, and can still read the subliminal messages hidden therein.
When talking on the phone, you are often mistaken for one of the Chipmunks.
The candy companies schedule their commercials around the time you usually watch TV.
For some reason, soda cans always spray you in the face.
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