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Happy Birthday Aja!
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Shadowstorm
Noble


Joined: 21 Sep 2003
Posts: 137
Location: The place you would least expect.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

**On the cold streets of a city during a dark and rain-soaked night...**

"...All units, please be advised. Notorious serial baker and possible cultist Shadowstorm, alias "The Crazed Confectioner", alias, "Patissier le Diable", has escaped from Dunwich Mental Institution and has been spotted in the vicinity. Eyewitnesses report suspect was last seen wearing a chef's apron and wielding a wire whisk. Suspect is therefore to be considered to be armed and extremely dangerous. In the event of an encounter, officers are recommended to claim that they are on a gluten free diet before radioing in for SWAT and Hazmat Response. I repeat..."


**Local law enforcement, on high alert, dutifully sweeps through the city in patrol cars on a regular basis. Police helicopters cut across the clouded sky, shining their intense spotlights on bakery shopfronts, and random objects of conspicuousness. In other parts of the city, fearful citizens form neighborhood watches, in a desperate attempt to save home and kitchen from what can only be described as a dessert chef gone completely and utterly mad. Meanwhile, in a local pizzeria...**



Well! They may have thought to guard the bread shops and pastry stores, but they'd never think to look for someone trying to bake a cake in a place like this! Now, let's see, where's my recipe book...ah! There it is.

**Picks up a tattered grimoire, written in latin. Loosely translated, the title would be "Lesser Cookbook of Solomon"**

Ok, now let's see if I have everything...

Eggs, check.
Flour, check.
Sugar, check.
6 overlapping pentagrams and corresponding binding circle surrounding the oven...check.

**Quickly mixes all of the mundane ingredients in a bowl, pours the mix into a bundt pan, lights the ritual candelabras, and places the pan into the oven. 30 minutes and the utterance of several words in a long dead tongue later...**

It's done!

**Pulls out of the pizza oven a multi-tiered, fully frosted cake**

I'm positive I was baking a bundt cake....but, I guess I can't complain with the results. Truly nice work.

**A chitin-covered appendage reaches out of the oven and...gives what appears to be a thumbs up**

Happy Birthday, Aja! May this be a good day and year for you!
_________________
"Can it be that those in power are on the verge of repeating a senseless and deadly mistake?"~Final Fantasy VI
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Aja
Pajamazon


Joined: 21 Jul 2002
Posts: 1994
Location: Thataway

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2019 3:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you, guys! Grand Master Goldblum, and the newest incarnation of ShadowCake -- it's hard to imagine a more festive birthday setup than that. Cheese!

*carefully cuts the cake and serves a slice to everyone in the tavern*

Cheers!

*tries a bite*

Oooh... you know, last year's cake was pretty great, but this one? My gosh. The frosting really adds that extra aliquid speciale.

Esta libum est praeclarus, Frater Shadow.

*twirls fork in a complex pattern, etching the lines of an incomprehensible eldritch sigil into the air*

Ave Dominus Libum!
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"The one concession a sane man will never yield the universe is that of considering it seriously."
~ James Branch Cabell
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Tulsileaf
Mink Sith Lord


Joined: 05 Apr 2005
Posts: 548
Location: Behind you.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2019 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Happy Birthday Aja!

(whisper whisper)
What? Of course it's January.
(whisper whisper)
If it wasn't January would I be wishing Madam Aja a happy birthday? Apply a modicum of logic, my good man.
(whisper whisper)
Don't be absurd.
(whisper whisper)
October, Schmocktober. Now, if you have nothing else to say, I have a birthday to celebrate.

Sorry about that. Where were we? Ah, yes...

I brought cake. Cheese!
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Donate and earn the right to say, "Tulsileaf exists thanks to me!"
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Aja
Pajamazon


Joined: 21 Jul 2002
Posts: 1994
Location: Thataway

PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2019 12:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hurrah! Thanks, Tulsi!

I mean, it's still Birthday O'clock in the EPT* timezone. Nudge Nudge

Cake for everybody!


* (Extended Party Time, or GMT -6,540 and counting)
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"The one concession a sane man will never yield the universe is that of considering it seriously."
~ James Branch Cabell
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Saint Cy
Spark


Joined: 17 Aug 2007
Posts: 94

PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 1:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Happy birthday Aja! Cheers! I hope you have an amazing and uplifting 2020.

*Delivers a delicious confection.*
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Shadowstorm
Noble


Joined: 21 Sep 2003
Posts: 137
Location: The place you would least expect.

PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 10:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

**In the center of the room, on a lone table, stands a well-decorated, two-tier birthday cake with vanilla icing. A tattered journal lies waiting to be read next to the cake...only a few entries are legible...**


1/17/19 - I think that went over well. I mean, sure, I have no idea how I got a multi-tiered cake when I was baking a bundt cake, but Aja seemed happy with the results, so that's good enough for me. I sure hope next year's cake turns out just as good. I think I had better track down a new recipe book though. I don't like the screaming noises this one's making now.

2/23/19 - The recipe book I found today shows promise. The month I spent digging through rare book stores and restricted library sections has definitely been worth it. And such a bargain, too! Why, the old man seemed to have been glad to be rid of it. I guess he's diabetic?

4/7/19 - That was a close call! I can't believe they're still on my trail after all these months. And "shoot-on-sight" orders? I think that's going a little too far to subdue a baker! Still, perhaps I'd better lie low until things calm down...

6/3/19 - Now that I've managed to throw the feds off the trail, I can finally get started on next year's cake! Kind of early, I know, but this recipe requires...significant preparation time. Mostly owing to requiring certain...alignments on the lunar and solar calendars. Like ritualistically preparing the vanilla during a solar eclipse. Good thing there's one next month.

7/2/19 - The vanilla's done! The ritual assures me that the periodic glowing is completely normal. Now for the eggs...well, I'm pretty sure the eggs for this comes from something that doesn't exist...or is it SHOULDN'T exist? Stupid Latin.

8/14/19 - I have to wait til the harvest moon to prepare the flour?! Well, at least the sugar sounds completely mundane. Well, aside from the sifting directions. ...Widdershins? Is that counterclockwise CLOCKWISE IT'S CLOCKWISE AUGH NO IT'S EVEN WORSE THIS WAY WHY yes, it is indeed counterclockwise.

9/15/19 - They found me! Again! And still prattling on about how I should just simply BUY a cake whilst they fired their rifles! Preposterous! How completely impersonal that would be! This is supposed to be a gift! A GIFT! Their constant interruptions and meddling into this supremely great work is growing tiresome!

9/16/19 - Yeah, the recipe book has the right idea. This cake WILL be made manifest! I don't care what the courts, or the cops, or the U.N. says!

9/23/19 - The harvest moon! The wheat has been harvested and ground, in accordance with the prophecy. Soon all of the ingredients will be at hand...

10/13/19 - Angel Food Cake
Avocado Cake
Baumkuchen
Boston cream pie THAT'S A CAKE WHY IS THAT A CAKE WHY NOT NAME IT BOSTON CREAM CAKE
Black Forest Gateau
Carrot Cake...

11/5/19 - 3 eggs laid from <illegible>
2 cups moon flour
1 cup SIFTED sugar
3 tablespoons SUN-FORSAKEN vanilla...

11/6/19 -
35 liters water
20 kilograms Carbon
4 liters Ammonia
1.5 kilograms Lime
800 grams Phosphorus
250 grams Salt
100 grams Saltpeter
80 grams Sulfur
7.5 grams Fluorine
5 grams Iron
3 grams Silicon.
Trace amounts of 15 other elements

FORGET IT I'll JUST SUBSTITUTE IN BAKING CHOCOLATE

09/99/99 - I CAN SEE. I CAN SEE EVERYTHING.

01/16/20 - Happy Birthday Aja! May this year find you well!

_________________
"Can it be that those in power are on the verge of repeating a senseless and deadly mistake?"~Final Fantasy VI


Last edited by Shadowstorm on Sat Jan 18, 2020 5:01 am; edited 1 time in total
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Aja
Pajamazon


Joined: 21 Jul 2002
Posts: 1994
Location: Thataway

PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 10:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you, Cy! I hope 2020 is an uplifting year for everyone.

And that confection looks delicious indeed. Cheese! Cheers!


*notices the vanilla-frosted cake which has suddenly appeared... or was it there all along?*

*reads through the remnants of the journal with interest*

Oh my, it sounds like a lot of work went into this. It certainly turned out nicely.

Hey, would anyone like a slice of--?

*realizes that while they were looking away, the cake changed from a whole cake to an assortment of neat, wedge-shaped slices set on paper plates*

*or perhaps the cake was already sliced to begin with, and they just hadn't noticed?*

A-anyway... shall we give it a try? If the last few years are any indication, I suspect it will be-- eep!

*one of the plates sits empty, marked only with a dusting of tiny crumbs*

*that's right... that slice had already been eaten*

*it had always already been eaten*

*and it had been delicious*

--quite an experience. Shocked


*writes a note on a napkin, and leaves it on the table under a glass of Mako tea, next to a plate of cookies*


Dear Shadow,

Thank you for another excellent ShadowCake. As always, the presentation was as much a treat as the dessert itself.

P.S. How are things in the year '99?

_________________
"The one concession a sane man will never yield the universe is that of considering it seriously."
~ James Branch Cabell
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